


On Your Sleeve

by ColeTReed



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColeTReed/pseuds/ColeTReed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where your feelings are LITERALLY on your sleeve, as well as an integral part of your health and well being, Michael Jones learns that he doesn’t have to be a alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Your Sleeve

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Talks of depression

Day One – 6/7 Hearts

“Damn” said Michael, letting out a big sigh.  Waking up in his apartment, he’d been so groggy that he hadn’t even noticed it, but as he takes a seat on his bicycle, it’s plain as day.

On the bottom of the left arm of every human being in the world are seven hearts, which represents a person’s mood and feelings at the time.  At full, it means the person is mentally healthy and happy.  However, with the loss of each heart signifies that something s wrong with the person, and is generally a sign for people to come to their aid.  If all seven hearts are ever drained completely, the person will fall into an state of sleep until they’re ready to recover.  It’s a defense mechanism to protect them from their sorrow, giving them time to rest and recuperate, as well as family and friends to reach out to them.  Each’s person’s sleep is different though, so people prefer to avoid it.  While some last for a day or two, others have slept until the day they died.

Out of his seven hearts, one was now completely black.  Michael felt the anxiety creep over him.  Everyone would notice, and he’d probably not have any peace the entire day. 

_**Great.  Week one.  You’re already sad.  WHAT THE FUCK.  You’re working at goddamn ROOSTER TEETH, what the fuck could you possibly be sad about your miserable fuck!** _

~

“Michael, everything ok?” says Kara as he walks into the office.  Kara worked the front office at Rooster Teeth.  She had shoulder length light blonde hair, a slightly tanned and thin framed white figure, and had the biggest smile on her face at all times.  Of course Kara would notice.  She made it her life goal to check everyone’s hearts as soon as they walked n the door.  She was that kind of person, who always wanted everyone happy all the time.  Even when she kicked people away from the office, she somehow always managed to make them leave with a smile.

“Kara, it’s no big deal, I’ve just been sick the last few days and I’m feeling crummy..” Michael says, putting his bike helmet in the nearby shelf.  “I’ll be fine.” He added, hoping to end the conversation there.

**_Great.  Lie to her.  Whattcha gonna do when you lose three hearts like normal Michael always does?  I don’t think a cold will cover that one Michael!  Idiot._ **

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?  Tummy?  Head?  I can go get you some medicine, we’ve got plenty in the break room!” she says, already standing up, putting her hand to Michael’s forehead. 

This kind of caution was common.  Hell, even Michael was guilty of overbearing protectiveness with the heart gauges of his friends back in New York.  He remembered a time he actually skipped school with a friend who’d lost three hearts over a bad breakup.  His parents weren’t even pissed, hell they gave Michael a pat on the back for that one.

“Kara, it’s just a cold, I get it every year when the weather changes like this.  I’ll be fine!” he adds, now smiling to mask his own concern.

_**HA!  You think this will go away?  PFFFFFT.  Wishful thinking Michael.** _

She nods, and Michael slowly makes his way into the Achievement Hunter office.

After all, it wasn’t THAT bad.

____

Day Two  - 5 Hearts

Michael decided pretty quickly to skip work today.  The hole in his chest felt bigger than usual, and his heart gauge had gone down another heart.  One heart was nothing, but two hearts was downright…  Embarrassing.  He needed to take care of himself, and quickly.  He didn’t want this to get out of hand.  It was nothing!  He didn’t know why he bothered himself so much over a tiny little thing.

**_Daww…  Little Michael thought he could get happy?  Nope.  You’ll always be that same pathetic, self-loathing bastard that nobody likes.  At least it gives your parents a break though.  They’re probably glad your shitty little problem is out of their hair at last._  **

He sent a text to Geoff, and got a response almost immediately.

_I’m coming over.  NOW._

“Shit.” Said Michael, looking at his arm.  Two hearts gone.  There was no way Geoff wasn’t going to try and help him now. 

~

“Michael, tell me what’s wrong.” He says, letting himself inside as soon as Michael opened the door. 

Geoff was in his late thirties.  He had a scruffly looking beard outlining his entire face.  He had the look of a guy you’d expect to be homeless, though his T-shirt and Jeans were from pretty awesome brand stores.  His arms were covered in tattoos, and he had this overall fatherly air about him, Michael having seen him interact with Gavin.

Michael sighed.  “Geoff, it’s nothing, I’ve just-“

“It’s not nothing!” screams Geoff, cutting him off mid-sentence.  “Dude, you’ve lost two hearts.  It doesn’t happen without a reason!  You’ve got to let someone in!  We all love you man, and we want to help you!” he says. 

_**Of course you do.  You have to.  But what do you really feel?  Probably pissed off at your latest employee sucking balls and missing a day of work already.** _

Michael shakes his head, trying to throw his little internal monologue away. 

“I guess I’ve just been having a bad couple of weeks.” He says. 

It was true.  Michael had just moved from New York to Austin, and it was a big transition to make.  The people were entirely different than he was used to.  Instead of the usual gruffness he’d always experienced in his life, people here in Austin went out of their way to be nice for no reason.  It was maddening.  WHY would people be so nice?  What was their motive?  Michael didn’t really care about that though, it was just a passing thought.  The real problem was that Michael felt alone.  Even with all his great coworkers and shit, he just felt…  Lonely.  He also couldn’t get over his self-loathing behavior.  He hated everything about himself.  He thought coming to Rooster Teeth might change something.  After all, he’d become somewhat of a minor internet celebrity.  Instead, the comments on his videos just cemented his idea that he was just a pathetic loser without any talent.  Just another asshole who yells at video games.

Geoff takes a seat, patting him on the back.  “Homesick?” he says in a fatherly tone of voice.

Michael nods.  “That’s probably it.” 

_**Nah, you’re still lying you piece of shit.  Too much of a fucking baby to just say you need a friend.  HA!  How pathetic can you be!? Oh my gawd, I can’t believe I share a brain with you.** _

Michael shakes his head again.  That little fucker in his head would not shut up today.

“Well, dude, come out and hang out with me and the family tonight.  I’m sure you and Gavin would have plenty to talk about, he just moved from England and probably feels the same way you do!” Geoff says, smiling like an idiot.

____

Day 3 – 3/7 Hearts

Michael woke up late.  He’d spent a lot of time with the Ramseys last night, hitting the bevs a bit too hard as he recalls. Thank goodness it was Saturday.  He’d sleep in, play some games and be ready to head back into work on Monday, energy renewed and nothing to worry about.

Oh yeah, he should check his hear-

Michael nearly shit his pants when he saw it.  3 HEARTS?  He was panicking.  He couldn’t breathe.  He’d let it go too far again.  He…  He didn’t want to go back to sleep.  There’s no way his parents would take him back in again.  He’d already gone into a sleep twice since he was six. 

He begins breathing hard, putting his hands on his head, everything negative coming into his brain.

**_It’s over.  It’s all over Michael.  How sad.  You finally had a chance to be happy, and you blew it.  I guess you’ll just go home again and live on your parent’s couch the rest of your life.  Sleeping.  That’s all your’re really good for anyway._  **

 He had to go back home now.  Fuck the job.  Fuck everything in Austin.  FUCK IT!  He wanted his mom.  His mom know how to make this go away.  She had to.  She was his goddamn mom! 

His heart gauge evaporates another one, the red particles shattering in mid-air, just in front of his eyes.  Just 2 now remained on his arm, a small musical noise now engulfing his head as if to warn him.   It was like a small lullaby of sorts.  He’d heard it many times in his life.  He knew what was coming.   

“SHIT, no” he says, now blubbering as tears flow down his face.  He feels the exhaustion overcome him.  He falls back onto his bed, him now having little to no energy to do anything, let alone go take a shower.   His chest feels hollow.  It’s like someone is pressing down on it hard with a giant boot, crushing the air out of him slowly.

He reaches for his cell phone and dials 911.  He doesn’t have the strength to press “Call”.  He just stares at it.    

_**Yeah, call them.  What good would they do you?  Nothing!  HA!  NOTHING!  You’ll just fall asleep like a little baby soon enough.  Fucking suck it up you dick.  What kind of a man are you?!  They can’t fucking help you anyway.  You can’t  even help yourself.** _

Michael lets the phone fall from his hands and onto the floor.  His hand now is dangling from the bed, his eyes closing as he lets his exhaustion take him into his dreams.

____

Day 5 - ???

Gavin Free was a recent addition to Rooster Teeth, having come back to work with them from England again, this time on a much more extended visa working with Achievement Hunter and a handful of other productions.  It was late on Sunday, and Gavin had been walking along the sidewalk, looking for a recent address.

Gavin was a tall, lanky man.  He had wheat colored hair, sticking up in all kinds of directions, a scruffy beard hiding a child-like face.  He spoke with a British accent, and was generally a very cheery person.  He’d been especially happy the last couple of weeks, his arm waving with full hearts.

“Now…  If I take a right here….” He says, consulting a small map in his hands.

He’d met up with a chap named M _ic_ hael recently, and they’d hit it off at the Ramseys.  They had supposed to have met last night for a movie, him wanting to know more about the man and just have something to do.  Gavin had noticed the man’s heart gauge was a little low, so he’d wanted to do something for him, but not be some overbearing asshole.  It was already Monday, and Gavin hadn’t heard a word from him.  They had the day off work for a holiday, so Gavin thought he’d pop in and say hi.

He finally finds the address, and knocks on the door.  The door slowly swings open, the force of the knocks enough to make it open.

_Did he forget to lock his own door?_

Gavin walked into the Jones home.  “Michael?  You there?” he says, walking through the residence. 

“Here.” Says a soft whisper of a voice.  Michael is crawled in a ball on a small love seat.  He looked and smelled awful.  He was obviously plastered, the beer bottles on the floor around him enough to stack a small pyramid.    

Gavin rushes over to him.  He looks…  Wiped out.  There was no life in his eyes, the man was a walking corpse.  Gavin reaches for his arm, and pulls it away from him without any resistance.

Gavin’s eyes grow big.  Half a heart.    

~

Michael tried to pull his hand back, but he couldn’t even muster the strength to do that. 

_**Wow.  You’re going to be the talk of the office the next couple of months, aren’t ya!  The new guy that immediately went into a loveless coma?  JESUS CHRIST you loser, how pathetic could you be!?!?** _

Michael didn’t even bother fighting with the voice anymore.  It was right, he was pathetic, as always.  He wanted the sleep now.  At least then he wouldn’t have to think anymore.  Maybe if he was lucky, he’d be like one of those people that just never woke up from it.  That was a real thing.  They’d sleep for years, and their gauge would never recover.  That sounded good.  After all, if he couldn’t be happy working the job of his dreams with some of the coolest people in the world, how on earth would he ever manage to be happy anywhere else? 

_**That’s right.  Just give up.  Everything will be so much easier.  You won’t have to try anymore, sleep will be awesome!  No more anger!  No more sadness!  No more feeling alone!  I’ll keep you company.  We’ll do whatever you wont in your dreams!  Just let go Michael.  It will be easy.** _

_“_ Michael, we have to call the paramedics!” says a worried Gavin Free.  He didn’t even know how he manged to get into his house.

“No Gavin.  Just…  Just… just let me go.” Michael says, unsure of how he managed to find the strength to speak. 

Gavin pulls Michael up out of the chair.  His body is light, and Gavin is embracing him, holding him up with his own strength. 

“Just tell me what’s wrong.” He hears Gavin say. 

~

Gavin had seen this before.  It had a technical name for it.  Depression?  He wasn’t sure, to be honest.  He wasn’t a doctor, and he certainly couldn’t diagnose it properly, let alone know its symptoms.  Knowledge of these kind of problems were also pretty hard to get into public awareness.  With heart gauges, it was really hard for people to get too upset without seeking treatment or others seeking treatment for them, and they weren’t readily researched.  Then again, if you’re a new person in a new town living alone, he supposed that it would be pretty easy to let a heart gauge slowly kilter off without anyone noticing. 

Michael is hesitant at first.  Obviously, he’s tired.  He nearly freaked out when he mentioned paramedics, so Gavin decided to go a different route. 

“Just tell me what’s wrong.” Says Gavin. 

Michael puts his head into Gavin’s shoulder.  He’s still not opening up, and Gavin sees small specks of Michael’s last gauge slowly evaporating.

“You know…  You could tell me anything you wanted right now and I wouldn’t care Michael.  If you’re upset because you’re homesick like Geoff said, I’d get on a plane and fly you there myself.  If you’re upset because you just broke up with someone, I’d take you on a date myself and we’d gaze up at the stars as long as you wanted.  If you’re just wanting someone to yell at or get angry with, you can yell at me all you want whenever you want.  I’m here for you Michael.  I’ve only just really gotten to know you, but I can tell you’re a good person on the inside.  A little angry, yes, but you’re someone that everyone here loves to talk to and be around.  The people on the internet love you.  Your fans love you.  Your family loves you.  Geoff and I love you.  Everyone at the office loves you!  I know you’re upset, and if you want to sleep, that’s fine too.  Just take as much time as you need to get better.  We’ll all be here waiting for you when you wake up.” Gavin says, speaking directly from the heart, remembering fondly how much it helped him to hear those same words a long time ago. 

The heart gauge stops its evaporation.  ¼ of a heart remained.

Michael is shaking in his arms, but still with him.

~

_**He’s lying you know.  HE doesn’t mean that shit.  He’s just being nice.  JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.  WHO THE FUCK COULD CARE ABOUT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG LIKE YOU?** _

Michael could hear his voice screaming on the inside.  It was the same voice he’d heard his entire life.  This wasn’t the first time he’d felt this way, and it wouldn’t be the last time.  Michael figured that everyone was insecure about their lives at some point.    

Michael looks up at Gavin, the man now putting his other hand around Michael’s back.  After his words of encouragement, he just stood there.  Probably waiting for Michael to collapse and go into his sleep.  Would…  Would he really wait for him?

Michael looks at Gavin, tears in his eyes.  “I’m…  I’m sorry…” he manged to push out of his throat.  He wasn’t good with emotions, and definitely wasn’t good at expressing them around other people. 

“Michael, do you want to sit down?” Gavin says, motioning towards the nearby love seat he’d been curled up on. 

Michael nods his head. 

Gavin sits down first, still cradling Michael as they both take their positions on the seat. 

~

They sat there all day.  Nobody said a word.  Michael’s gauge slowly returned to its half heart, but not recovering much after that.

“Michael..  Will you let me help you?” Gavin finally says.

Michael nods. 

____

Day 64 – 5 ½ / 7 Hearts

“OH SHIT, I SPAWNED IN THE HOUSE!” screams Michael.  Lava was engulfing his avatar, and he watched as all his hearts went away quickly, him dying in a painful blaze.

“GODDAMNIT GAVIN, YOU SUCK!” he screams, him wanting nothing more than to punch Gavin in the throat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” says Gavin in a giggling mischievous tone of voice. 

Everyone in the office laughed loudly as soon as the recording went off.  Everyone was going to lose their shit over that video, it’d be another hit for the office. 

~

After the recording, Michael, Gavin and Ray all decided to hop out and get some lunch.  Ray had been in the office for a few weeks now, them all really enjoying their friendship.  They were the “lads” as Gavin put it.

Ray seemed to notice it first.  “Hey Michael, you ok dude?” he says, pointing to his arm.  He’d taken off his hoodie once they’d left the office, so he’d just now gotten a look at it.  The guy had a few missing hearts.  Why wasn’t anyone freaking out about it?

“Oh, I’m just a bit messed up today.  I’m cool.” He says, plainly.  Gavin nodded.   

Ray gave him a puzzled look.  “Huh?” he finally asks. 

“It’s hard to explain.  There are just days when I get really sad, hate myself or whatever for no reason.  Sounds pathetic, yeah, but that’s just who I am.” Michael says.

Gavin punches him on the shoulder.  “Michael, it’s not pathetic, quit calling it that. 

Ray looks at Michael, still not convinced.  Who just…  Hated themselves for no reason?  “Dude?!”

Michael chuckles a bit.  “Don’t worry, I got help.  I’ve got a good doctor, and they’re helping me through it.   I get moody at times though, so just a fair warning.  I’ll get a good balance soon though.“

Ray was dumbfounded.  “You seriously just…  Get sad?  For no reason?”

Gavin nodded his head.  “It’s hard to explain Ray, and you can’t ever really understand it unless you’ve gone through it.”

Ray agreed with that.  “So, why not…  I dunno, just get happy?”

Gavin sighed.  “It’s not that easy.”

Michael put his hands up.  “Listen, Ray, just don’t worry about it.  My gauges are going to be wild at times.  I tell everyone to ignore them, so I hope you can too.  Don’t make me fucking kick you in the nuts.” He says smiling. 

Ray shrugs.  “Man, whatever you say.  You know I’m here for ya though.  I don’t understand it, but I’m game if you wanna do something.  I’ll assume you know you can talk to me whenever the fuck you want.  Unless it’s 3 AM and I’m banging someone.  Then you can bug Gavin.  Cuz Ray needs his ladies.”

Michael smiled at that.  Ray noticed one of his half hearts filling up. 

“Thanks Ray.” He said. 

 


End file.
